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Mom plans a party during Alex Appreciation Hour, also known as Upstairs, Downstairs
  • Mom: You answered your phone! I feel special.
  • Me: Call waiting. Answering didn't interfere with the ringtone. I didn't answer David.
  • Mom: You and Mr. Bates need to be at our house at 5:00 on Sunday.
  • Me: No can do.
  • Mom: But that's the only time we can get everybody together.
  • Me: Won't be there.
  • Mom: It's Sunday, Wendy. You have nothing to do.
  • Me: I have standing plans.
  • Mom: On Sunday? It's certainly not church.
  • Me: The exact opposite.
  • Mom: Until when?
  • Me: Til the next Sunday.
  • Mom: Be at the house at 5. No excuses.
  • Me: Nope. 5:00 is right in the middle of Alex Kingston appreciation hour.
  • Mom: That's your standing plans?
  • Me: Yes. She's a national treasure.
  • Mom: Is that so? Which nation?
  • Me: All the nations.
  • Mom: What time can you be there, Wendy?
  • Me: Can't. She's kissing a lady. I'll be appreciating indefinitely.
  • Mom: You are insufferable.
  • Me: It's as close as you'll let me get to gay, Mom.
  • Mom: (sighs dramatically) I'm calling Mr. Bates.
  • Me: I wish you luck. He reaps the benefits of -
  • Mom: (click)
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